[LOG] Hangover Cures

[timetoblog]

There were a lot of things John Watson was used to handling on a very small amount of sleep. He'd been deployed overseas, dealing with bombings and attacks and explosions - he'd been shot, for crying out loud! All of that, however, paled when compared to living with someone as brilliant and as infuriating as Sherlock Holmes. John felt pushed to his limit on more than one occasion, running around London, solving mysteries and crimes, and then coming back to find that he still needed to get groceries, tidy his room, entertain the newly bored Sherlock...

Well, it didn't exactly leave much room for napping. He found himself overtired more often than not, and today was especially harsh, as he was now dealing with a hangover so massive, it put all others to shame. And, as much as he wanted to crash and burn for a few hours in his room, he knew that Sherlock would be along soon enough to draw him out on another adventure. So, when the Welsh bloke - Ianto, he figured, because it was the name that stood out as the most Welsh in his memory - offered an escape route, John had leaped at the chance.

So, there he was, having dug around to find someone to take him to Cardiff - though, was it even the same Cardiff as he was used to? He'd told them who he wanted to see, and that's where he'd been taken, so. Only time would tell if this was his world or not. (And how strange it was to take that concept at face value!) Now, in the Plass - he'd been to Cardiff once, a long time ago, so it was practically like new - John dug out his phone and opened a text to the number he'd by now stored in his address book.

...Right, this wasn't Sherlock he was dealing with. He could call. Rolling his eyes at his own idiocy, he sent a call to Ianto to let him know he was by the (obnoxious? a little) fountain in the center. After all, it was the easiest landmark to be noticed by.

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[51stcentury]

Jack quirked a smile right back at him, shifting on his feet. If you had to mess up, might as well do it in style, he decided. "Hey, there. Captain Jack Harkness," he said with a smile, in that easy drawling American accent of his. "And well." He nodded back to the opening, leading to the passageway to the stairs and the lift down to the main section of the Hub. "Welcome to Torchwood, I guess."

He turned and smiled at Ianto. "So. I... I guess this is your civilian guest that I was supposed to be steering clear of, then, yeah?" Ianto nodded, his expression unchanging, still clutching his mug in a death grip in front of him. "That... That would be about the size of it, yes, Jack," he said, trying to keep his voice steady and not yelling at Jack.

Jack stuck his hands in his pockets, grinning awkwardly. "Well. At least he's cute. You seem to have excellent taste in visitors, Ianto, I'll give you that much." He sent a little wink in John's direction. Ianto looked like he might just die on the spot.

[timetoblog]

That ingrained bit of learned knowledge they'd given him in the army almost made John salute at the title, but he knew better than to make an ass of himself just then. There'd be time for that in a minute. After the shock of there being a secret... base, he supposed? In Cardiff. Cardiff, of all places.

And it was apparently captained by someone who didn't know when it was appropriate to flirt. And who was flirting with him. A man. Not that that was a problem, it was just. "Right," John said slowly, putting his cup down on the counter. "Cute. Yes." And... there went the unshakable mask. "...You have a secret entrance to, I'm going to guess, a military post. In a tourist office. In Cardiff." He turned his head to look at Ianto, disbelief obvious in his expression and voice, "You're a secret agent?" A pause. "In Cardiff?"

[torchwoodteaboy]

Jack recognized a military man when he saw one, and he smirked as he saw that telltale twitch of John keeping himself from saluting him. He wouldn't have minded, honestly. It'd been a while since he'd last been saluted, after all. "Yeah," Ianto said. "In a very manly, British way," he explained. "Don't worry about it."

Ianto put his mug down very slowly, biting his lip. "I'm...something like that," he said, looking to Jack for permission. Jack shrugged. "Might as well go all out, at this point," he said. Ianto sighed.

"I'm... I'm an archivist for a top secret organization. In a tourist office. In Cardiff, yes. I... We're called Torchwood. I, well. I really don't suppose you would've heard of us, anyway, but. We... We're a sort of specialized organization, I guess you could say. Ehm. Beyond the government, outside of the police and the United Nations and all that. We. We're sort of the resident authority on, well..." God. How to break it to someone that what he'd been trying to pass off as a job for a tourist office was actually a job for a top secret organization that defended the earth against extraterrestrial threats...?

[timetoblog]

"I never worry about it," John said, still a bit too hung up on the whole "secret organization under Cardiff" part of the conversation to really care that Jack had called him anything less than handsome. Dashing would've been nice too, but that wasn't his side of the spectrum. Not that he was paying any attention to words at the moment.

He blinked at Ianto's explanation, listening to how he trailed off and, as any man who had to deal with a mad detective would do, scrambled to pick up the pieces that had been scattered about their otherwise benign conversation. Torchwood, all right. Never heard of it, that's right. Why wouldn't he have heard about it? Their worlds were practically the same. Except for the weird things in the sky. Sun disappearing, stars disappearing. And Ianto was assuming he wouldn't know of Torchwood because... Well. Because it was secret. And also because it had to do with the things he didn't know about, and those things probably meant...

"Ah," he said in comprehension, because really, it had to be either a NASA type thing, which wouldn't be outside of the police, or. Well, something like SETI, maybe? Who knew. Ianto was going to have to explain it - or this Jack fellow. Either of them. ...Lord, if they could. He really should have left a note for Sherlock.

[51stcentury]

Ianto recognized John's 'ah' as what it was--John trying to figure out what the hell he meant by all of it. Honestly, he wasn't surprised that the other man was confused, especially with him rambling on like he was. He was flustered, though. He hadn't really had any intention of bringing Jack or Torchwood into the mix here. He really just had wanted to bring the other man over for coffee, have some pleasant conversation, redeem himself, and then see him off. Had that really been too much to ask for?

"Yes, ehm. Well. You see. There's the Doctor. And well. He met Queen Victoria. When she was alive. And well, she didn't like what he was doing. And. I don't suppose you've met on the community, have you? The Doctor that is, not the Queen. But, ehm. Well. She... She sort of founded Torchwood then, and well. It..."

Jack could see Ianto floundering, flustered, and really, it was charming. He decided that he could step in and pick up the slack, though. After all, it had been his error that had lead to this John finding out about Torchwood, might as well explain himself. "What Ianto means to say is that there's a rift in space and time running through the center of Cardiff. Our job is to keep an eye on this rift and monitor whatever goes into or comes out of it, anywhere from household appliances from the past or future, to well. Alien life. See if it's a threat, and deal with it if it is."

There. Direct and to the point. Ianto winced at how blunt Jack was, and turned to look at John, trying to gauge his reaction to it. If he was going to run, or not. Because the door to the tourist office sort of bolted shut, when the passageway door was open, so. No chance of escape, really.

[timetoblog]

John hadn't exactly been expecting a secret government agency for space rocks or... little green men (that was probably racist, wasn't it?) in this coffee break of his, either, so at least Ianto wasn't the only one out of their comfort zone at the moment. Small graces, and all.

He saw Ianto's wince at the words coming out of Jack's mouth, and John took a moment to process the whole thing. He opened his mouth, then shut it. Scratched the side of his head.

Finally, he said. "...You deal with aliens." He knew that was exactly what Jack had said, and, well. Compared to the ghost ship, the drunken bar full of community members, and the crazy things he saw with Sherlock? It really wasn't that surprising. But still. Everyone he'd talked to, they'd all been, well, from Earth. Or, some version of it. So it would take a few moments for it to sink in.

Idly, he said again, "Really does explain the tourist office being so dingy." He glanced at Ianto, "No offense, the interior's fine." Ever the gentleman.

[torchwoodteaboy]

Ianto frowned at the comment about the tourist office. Alright, yes. It looked awful. But it was a front. And he really had tried with the interior, so at least John had commented on that. He did have to spend a great deal of his time up in this place, so he had tried as best he could with what he was given to make it, well. Neat and tidy and all.

"Yep," Jack said, before echoing John's statement. "We deal with aliens. Got some down in the vaults, if you'd like to come see. They really aren't anything like you'd think. Not most of them, at any rate. Certainly not the Weevils down below. Reckon you could meet Myfanwy, too, if Ianto's feeling up to it."

Ianto took in a breath. He was apparently having as difficult a time as John was accepting the fact that John knew about Torchwood. Maybe even worse, honestly. "I... I could do. I mean. If you're interested. It's well. It's certainly a lot more interesting than anything up here," he said. Alright, yes. He was a little fixated on the fact that John had called out the tourist office on being dingy. He knew it was, but that didn't stop him from frowning at the fact he'd said it aloud.

[timetoblog]

John really was sorry, but it was the truth. He raised both brows at the two of them, realizing a few things at about the same moment. One, Ianto was part of a secret alien... hunting thing, and not a serial killer or something equally as bad (but interesting enough for the community), and Sherlock would probably be sad to learn that. Two, the Cardiff in this world was much more interesting than the one in his own. Three, there were aliens in Cardiff. And, finally, four, which was that he was being hesitantly invited to see said aliens.

"I'm... not sure that's a good idea," John said hesitantly, giving them both a look, "You know, being that you're supposed to be a secret. Wouldn't me actually seeing it be... a little counter productive?" Though he wouldn't mind, he'd also not mind being in the dark if it meant less trouble for everyone involved.

[torchwoodteaboy]

Jack shrugged. "I don't think it'd be too much of a problem. At least I've given you permission, this time. Ianto here has a nasty habit of sneaking people in without me knowing. Hopefully he's learned his lesson, by now." Ianto rolled his eyes. Jack just couldn't let that go, now could he?

"Besides," Jack continued, with a smile, "if you end up being any sort of trouble about it, running around telling people--which I doubt you'll do, Ianto here's an excellent judge of character too, and he's the one who requested permission for you to come over in the first place--then we can just retcon you, and then you'll never be bothered by any of us or this place ever again."

Ianto shot Jack a look. Mentioning Retcon was not reassuring, at all. "You... You really don't have to, if you don't want to. I mean, not everyone's comfortable with the idea of being in the same room as a pterodactyl. What Jack's trying to say," he said, glaring at Jack, before giving John a much more pleasant, apologetic expression, "is that, well. Since now you know, you may as well be offered the option of checking it out."

[timetoblog]

John didn't necessarily know what, exactly, Retcon was, but he had an idea that it involved him not being able to talk about this place. He turned to Ianto as he tried to save face for Jack, who was either completely oblivious to how ominous he sounded or, more likely, he didn't care or even enjoyed it. "He's very good at this reassuring bit, isn't he?" he asked conversationally. Good for Jack, being foreboding and vaguely intimidating, but it really wasn't helping John feeling any better about the concept of there being aliens in Cardiff. (He was never going to get over the fact that this was Cardiff. Wouldn't London make more sense? Ah, well, at least a rift in time and space explained why the Welsh were so backwards.)

There didn't seem to be much of a choice, though. He could say no, probably even just walk on out of there without a problem, but. That would be... would that be rude? Plus, John had to admit. Aliens. That was pretty neat.

"Hang on," he said, suddenly, "Did you say pterodactyl?"

[torchwoodteaboy]

"Yes, he is that," Ianto said, sarcastically. Jack shrugged, obviously not caring in the least how good or bad he sounded to the other man. "At least I asked permission this time. He makes for a better impression when he's not angry at either of us for having you here, really." Yes, he knew that Jack was standing right there. Did he care that he was talking about him right in front of him? Not in the least.

"Ehm," Ianto said, not being able to judge if John was intrigued or just very surprised at the fact that he'd mentioned the pterodactyl. "She, ehm. Well, the Rift works through time as well as through space, so. She just came through one day, and well. We caught her. I trained her as best I could, and now she lives downstairs, in the Hub. We take her out to stretch her wings every once and a while, but you can't very well keep a pterodactyl out of doors, especially not in Cardiff..."

[timetoblog]

"Well, good, I'd hate to have him mad at me." After all, John was doing his best to stay out of trouble. It'd be terrible if he failed at that. Very unbecoming.

He realized that he was stuck in a sort of... well, loop, for lack of a better word. He was forgetting the actual question - did he want to go see aliens and a dinosaur and whatever other mad things Cardiff had beneath its surface? - and he was stuck on all the small details that Sherlock usually decided didn't matter. Well, the relatively small details. "Oh, no," he said, in reference to the idea of a pterodactyl flying over Cardiff, "Can't have that. What would the neighbors think?" Okay, yes. He was definitely stuck on the small things. He really should be answering the actual question one of these days. Turning, he gave Jack a curious look. "How many hostile aliens?" He'd meant to ask "could be running around the UK," but he sort of missed that part.

[51stcentury]

Jack grinned at John's half sentence, trying to figure out what the other man had actually wanted to ask, and failing. "'How many hostile aliens'...what? Do we have downstairs? Not too many. Weevils aren't really hostile, they're just... Well, kind of like big, dumb, humanoid pitbulls. How many have we faced? Quite a few. Everything from Daleks to Cybermen to Sleeper Agents. How many are there that we haven't caught yet? Way too many."

There Jack went with the whole not being very reassuring part again. If Ianto had been standing closer to the other man, he might have given him a well-timed elbow jab in order to make him be quiet, but obviously there was no such luck there. "There... They're not just hostile, you know. Some of them are actually quite nice. Perfectly integrated into society. You wouldn't even be able to tell that they were any different from the rest of us. Ehm," he said, realizing how that might sound, "there's a process. Not every alien that doesn't come through the Rift shooting things ends up being able to stay. Only the ones that show the most promise in becoming an upstanding citizen of Planet Earth, really."

[timetoblog]

Quite a few, right.

Okay.

John silently reminded himself that this wasn't his Earth, not really, and so the chances of there being aliens running amok in his own life were stunningly small. Unless Sherlock was an alien, but no. That really wasn't possible. Right? God, okay. Focus on the here and now. He looked at Ianto. "...So, you're... the UKBA for aliens. Right. Got it." Which was simplifying the matters a bit too much, and he knew it, so he added, "Not exactly, I know, but. Go with it, yeah?" Because he really was going to have to come up with an analogy to make this make sense, and if Jack or Ianto took that from him, so help him...

"And," he said after another pause, "You've got aliens in the basement, and a pterodactyl, and you pretend to be a tourist office so nobody bothers you. And," he finished, because this was him bringing himself around to the beginning, "You're okay with telling me all this and showing me any of it." Right?

[51stcentury]

Jack cocked his head to the side. "Well, yeah. I guess you could say we're kind of like the UKBA. But, well. Mixed with MI5. We're kind of the only line of defense here, so. If something comes up, it's pretty much on our shoulders. And UNIT, but there's way too much bureaucracy involved there for the two of us to really have any sort of affiliation. We're private run, paid for by the crown, don't have to follow orders from anyone else and we'd like to keep it that way."

Jack shrugged. "But yeah. I mean, you don't seem to be much of a threat. I can spot the military background from here, so I know that I can at least trust you for that. I figure, well. Why not? Since you're here."

Ianto tried his hardest to soften just how strong Jack was coming off, there. "Well. What he means to say is that... Jack's my boss. He's sort of the one in charge in all of this. So, if he's given you permission, then yeah. It's alright to show you around. Whether to the cells, or to Myfanwy, or...to the archives," which was exciting, but definitely less so than aliens or dinosaurs. "It's up to you, though," he said, although Jack probably wasn't going to give him a choice, now that he had a chance to show off.

[timetoblog]

While John wasn't familiar with UNIT, he had the gist of Torchwood now, and now he could move on to feeling slightly put out that his soldier's attitude hadn't completely dissipated. Not that he wanted it to, it was just one of those things people noticed right away, if they knew what to look for. Sherlock had, and now Jack. He was being blunt and really, so was Ianto, but at least it was better than trying to dance around the issue. (Though, that would be hard, being that the issue was the still open secret passageway.)

Really, though. He'd be an idiot to say no to the chance to see what they were talking about. He'd also be an idiot for saying yes, but that was the cautious part of him that was slowly letting go as his life went on, farther and farther away from Afghanistan.

He decided to say as much. "I'd be a bit of an idiot to say no, don't you think?"

[51stcentury]

Jack shrugged. "Sort of, yeah. I mean, it's not every day that you get a chance like this. It's not every person that I mess up in front of and accidentally let slip what Torchwood is exactly. You should be feeling lucky now, kid," Jack said, using the term despite the fact that, well. Jack really didn't look at that much older than John himself, if he even looked older at all. He started back the way he'd come, through the corridor, before calling after him, "C'mon then! We'll go down to the main level together, and then Ianto can show you around from then."

Ianto sighed as Jack turned the corner, before turning to John. "I'm... I'm sorry about this. Well, Jack, and all of this. I, ehm. I really hadn't intended for Torchwood to come into this at all. It's a bit too late now, though. Best not keep him waiting, he hasn't got the best patience out there, I'm afraid."

[timetoblog]

"Kid?" John mouthed as Jack turned back to head down the corridor, raising his eyebrows and looking at Ianto. He probably didn't want to know. It was just one of those quirks people had, and of course Jack had to be older than him; he was, after all, a captain.

"Neither had I," John said in response to Ianto's comment about Torchwood, smiling a little awkwardly, but still amused. "But, it's better than any of the alternatives I had, so." He waved for Ianto to lead the way almost out of instinct, and partially just because he didn't think he'd like being boxed in by the two other men. Who worked with aliens. In Cardiff. He really was never getting over that fact. "They never have patience, I'm afraid," he said, meaning captains in general, but really. It could be a reference to anything about Jack, who just seemed to be that... type.

[torchwoodteaboy]

Ianto shrugged. "Yes, well. Probably because you didn't jump at the chance to follow him down into his secret base from the start, but. Really, that makes you smart. He just thinks it's silly because he knows that there's nothing to be wary of down there." Ianto paused, blushing as he realized what he probably sounded like. "Ehm, we've worked together for a while," he said, explaining himself. "Jack's not really too hard to figure out, once you spend enough time around him."

Ianto led them on and into the corridor leading to the lift, in which Jack was standing, waiting for the two of them to join him. "Dare I ask what sort of alternatives you'd thought up?" Ianto asked, with a small, crooked smile. He realized it did look a bit odd, not knowing about Torchwood. Dingy little tourist office by the bay, absolute dump on the outside, while a man dressed in designer suits with the most expensive coffee machine ever working inside. Yeah, there was probably something very off, there.

[timetoblog]

John clasped his hands behind his back, smiling vaguely because it was either that or turn into a confused, babbling idiot. John was much to dignified to do that again, that was for sure. "I can see that," he said, "I doubt he'd trust people you invited over for coffee into the secret base, after all, if you two didn't know each other well."

Refraining from hesitating as he moved to the lift, John gave Ianto a backwards smile and said, "Serial killer? Assassin? An alien yourself? Pick any of them, I probably thought it."

[torchwoodteaboy]

Ianto smiled back at him. "Ah well. Not really, no. Just a teaboy. A teaboy that works for a top secret organization that defends the planet against alien threats, but. A teaboy nonetheless, honestly."

"Don't let him lie to you," Jack called out, from inside the lift as the two joined him. He pressed the button for the main level after he was sure the two of them had safely entered, and the lift lurched downwards, as Jack continued his thought. "He does much more than serve coffee. He pretty much runs the place, honestly. I'm the public figurehead, but without him, well. We'd probably be swimming in takeout boxes by now, and I guarantee you that the pterodactyl and the Weevils wouldn't smell half as fresh as they do."

Ianto blushed. "I try my best," he said, hoping Jack'd leave off the compliments from then on. It was hard not to preen, when they were coming from Jack, and he was hoping that John wouldn't catch on to the fact that he and Jack were... Well, whatever they were to each other. He didn't really want it to be apparent that they had anything closer than a flirtatious boss and employee relationship, he supposed. John seemed to be alright with Jack and his attitudes, but. Ianto didn't want to make the other man feel uncomfortable, or anything. He still wasn't used to this whole thing. It came in waves, when he questioned it, and this was definitely one of those questioning times.

[timetoblog]

While John wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that there was something going on between Jack and Ianto, he really didn't think too much about it. He was too preoccupied with listening to what Jack was actually saying, and with thinking about what he was getting himself in to. He could have just gone to Starbucks. He probably should have just gone to Starbucks. Oh, who was he kidding? This was probably the most excitement he'd had all week, aside from the random spots of mystery and intrigue Sherlock managed to turn up for them.

"Don't worry," he told Jack, giving Ianto a rather casual smile, "I'm fairly sure I'm going to have to second guess everything from now on. You don't think there's a Torchwood in my world, do you?"

[51stcentury]

Jack grinned at him, shrugging. "Who knows. I guess the only way you could find out is if you went looking for our little tourist office down by the Bay on your side of things. Or well, just really ask anyone on the streets if they've heard of Torchwood. If we're there in Cardiff, they'll point to the Bay. Of course, Torchwood London's in Canary Wharf, which might be a bit closer to home, given your accent."

Ianto stiffened. "If there's a Torchwood London in your world, you want to stay as far away from them as you can. They're not like our branch here in Cardiff. They're a lot more regimented. A lot less understanding." He looked up, feeling he owed an explanation as to why the mention of it made him so uncomfortable, but he couldn't quite manage it. "Ehm, they were my former employers."

"Torchwood London kind of went down in flames," Jack said, stepping in to do the explanation for Ianto. "Literally. We're kind of the only branch there is left, Torchwood Cardiff." He smiled. "Big job for such a little operation, really."

[timetoblog]

John took in everything that the two said, most of it getting only a cursory examination before being filed away for later. He was a bit surprised at Ianto's tone when he talked about Torchwood London, giving him a curious look as Jack explained the situation with Torchwood as an organization. "Don't worry," he said finally, "I doubt I'm going to have the time to investigate secret government organizations in Canary Wharf. And, so long as I don't mention it to Sherlock..."

He made a face, because he knew that he wouldn't have to say a damned thing to the other man. There'd be something in his posture or the way he blinked that gave him away, somehow. "Well, nobody will be doing any investigating what-so-ever. And I doubt I'll be going out to Cardiff any time soon." He paused, then said, "The... Cardiff from my world. This is a bit more difficult to talk about than I'd have thought."

[51stcentury]

Ianto smiled, shaking his head. "It's fine, really. You'll get used to things like this, I suppose. I... What with my job, I haven't really been able to do that much worldhopping, and when I do, it really isn't to anywhere quite as confusing to talk about as this, so. I don't suppose I can really understand, but. In any case, yeah. It's probably better if you don't go poking around Cardiff. Especially if there is a Torchwood there, and well, if they're not quite as friendly or accommodating as we are."

Jack rocked on his heels again, his hands stuffed in his pockets, stepping forward as the lift lurched to a halt at the main level and then opened to the passageway leading to the cog door. He ushered the other two down it towards the large copper structure, punching in a few buttons on his wrist strap before the alarms sounded, and the cog door started to roll open, revealing the Hub beyond. Jack led them to just inside the door, smiling and making a wide gesture. "Welcome to Torchwood, then, John."